tumblr is such a weird concept
anyway hello, yes, here I am! great! lovely!
what I want to write about is a topic which has been bothering me loads recently (for some reason i VERY RARELY find using a public forum a bit more freeing than cramming it into another corner of my private sections). sorry if it bothers anyone loads.
ok. i have been sad pretty much constantly since I was about 10. and when I say sad obviously I don’t actually mean sad, because using the word ‘sad’ in place of my actual mental illness(es) is probably one of the most idiotic things I do (sadness and depression or anxiety or PTSD are not even close to being synonymous and I of all people am well aware of that) but it’s just far less hassle to say that im sad instead of saying that i feel really mentally unwell. anyway hopefully at some point all stigmas about mental illness will evaporate and maybe then I’ll finally become good at explaining how I’m feeling but as it stands it’s really just too bloody daunting to go on about it okay.
but the plot thickens. I’ve also been actually sad (in its proper meaning) about literally loads of stuff too - while sadness and mental illness are not synonymous they are also, obviously, not mutually exclusive things. people have been real dicks to me and shit stuff has happened to me alarmingly often. so I’ve been sad about that.
here is the crux of what ive been thinking recently, so pay attention. in my case, I think they probably were, but the bad things that happen to people ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE CAUSE of their mental illnesses. you know, people never ask you why you got cancer. like obviously there are things which heighten your chances of getting it but NO ONE, except your doctor during your diagnosis or maybe like your closest closest friends, would EVER say “so tell me, do you smoke? drink? eat fatty foods? use sunbeds?” after you told them you had cancer. people just say “oh god, that’s awful, a speedy recovery to you sir!” and that’s it. there’s no underlying public assumption that somebody, somewhere did something wrong and caused the illness.
and clearly there’s no issue with trying to prevent cancer by not smoking or drinking or using sunbeds - just like there’s no harm in trying to avoid bullying or sexual assault or violence to minimise your chances of getting depression or anxiety or whatever. but the truth is that most normal people feel like its not really any of their business to ask about the lives of cancer patients, hunting for clues that might reveal why they became stricken with the illness. they just accept that the patient is ill, and that its really horrible for them, and they wish them well. they think that even if the patient DID have a lifestyle which increased the likelihood of getting cancer, it doesnt matter now - they are ill, and they need to get better, and its that simple.
and this, generally, is just simply not the case for mental patients. we need to stop assuming that the lives of depressed, anxious and psychotic people necessarily involve trauma of some sort. SOME PEOPLE, WHO WERE PREVIOUSLY COMPLETELY HEALTHY FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE, GET ILL.
am I being an idiot here? I really want to know what everyone thinks because probably I am being stupid and wrong.
ALSO: if the analogy with cancer here is offensive to anyone EVEN SLIGHTLY then tell me straight away and I will banish this entire post into the 8th circle of hell xxxxxxx
5:53 am • 8 August 2013 • 5 notes
so bored of being sad now like literally it has been so many years
9:09 am • 27 April 2013
plz if anyone saw my last post pretend that u didnt i meant to put it on my personal tumblr LOL
7:29 pm • 17 April 2013
since i have been properly updating my tumblr for the first time in ages i am just going to briefly mention how bloody grand that slimy little brown man is, he has bought nothing but good into my life and it’s weird because i swear nothing ever really goes how you want it to but this literally has and im so happy that out of everything thats ever happened this is the thing that has actually worked out precisely how i would have wanted mmmmm anyway u can bore off now tumblr
5:24 am • 19 March 2013
I need feminism because dating a male feminist made me realize how many issues in past relationships were caused by blind acceptance of patriarchy.
4:54 am • 19 March 2013 • 258 notes
“Between this and Silver Linings Playbook, it’s been an unstoppable year for romanticizing mental illness with happy endings that pretend you will be magically fixed as soon as you just find someone to love you.”
— Girls Maturity Level Threat Watch: Season Finale (via synecdoche)
5:26 pm • 18 March 2013 • 4,548 notes
ive just looked through loads of old photos from last year and although obviously my first year was mint it seems like a lot of it was spent trying to impress people i dont like by getting too hammered in places i hate, which is weird. all in all i cannot really explain how much happier i am now that i have more of an established group of friends rather than just trying to win over everyone i met and i’m so glad to have discovered that it’s okay if you don’t think it’s fun to go to howling clubs full of uniLADs which play shit songs and you always end up being sick in. is this…”growing up”?
8:44 am • 18 March 2013 • 2 notes
So let me tell you about some of the most adorable research about beetles going on right now.
Done by Marie Dacke and Jochen Smolka (and many others) this work has led to many interesting insights, all of which are overshadowed by the research methods of the group.
Namely, these guys love to put clothes on beetles.
The picture on the right of the dung beetle (Scarabaeus lamarcki) wearing some stylish green silicon boots comes from the much-publicized paper in late 2012 by Smolka et al entitled “Dung Beetles use their dung ball as a thermal refuge”. Published in Current Biology, this paper found out that the balls of dung constructed and rolled around by the intrepid little dung beetles provided the beetles with a place to escape the scorching desert sand. Not only that, the dung balls also acted as a heat sink!
Since the balls are cooler than the surrounding sand, they absorb heat from it. Dung beetles push their balls in front of them as they move through the desert, and this can actually lower the temperature of the surrounding sand by 1.5 degrees C. (This is about 34 degrees Fahrenheit, for all those unfamiliar with metric).
Back to the boots- Smolka et al coated the beetle’s legs with heat-resistant silicon in order to gauge which legs the beetles use to sense heat. It turns out they seem to sense the hot sand with the protibia of their front legs.
The picture on the left shows a beetle with a rather dashing hat. This hat was used in the 2013 paper by Dacke et al titled “Dung Beetles use Milky Way for orientation”, also published in Current Biology.
In this paper, the authors determined that a different species of dung beetle (Scarabaeus satyrus) used not only stars in the night sky, but specifically the Milky Way galaxy to keep themselves rolling their dung ball in a straight line.
When the beetle’s vision was obscured with these stylish hats, they took significantly longer to push their dung ball out of a predetermined arena because they couldn’t seem to push it in a straight line.
A further battery of tests confirmed that these beetles actually use the Milky way galaxy specifically to orient themselves and keep moving in a straight line.
With all that in mind, I encourage whomever reads this to go and put clothes on any animal you find, and record your observations.
Trust me, it is for science.
I think this might be the best day of my life
5:48 am • 25 February 2013 • 658 notes